


The Traction Factor

by Ysabetwordsmith



Series: Schrodinger's Heroes [2]
Category: Schrodinger's Heroes
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Canon Character of Color, Canon Queer Character of Color, Community: asexual_fandom, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Family, Female Character of Color, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genderkin, Growing Up, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, Multi, Native American Character, Other, POV Character of Color, POV Female Character, Personal Growth, Queer Culture, Queer Families, Queer Friendly, Queer Themes, Queer Youth, Questioning, Self-Discovery, Team as Family, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Tractive, Two-Spirit, Unconventional Families, flangst, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:45:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysabetwordsmith/pseuds/Ysabetwordsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash explores her sexuality over time, coming to understand that she is aromantic asexual and choosing not to hide that any longer. She is, however, tractive and interested in forming long-term bonds in platonic ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Traction Factor

**Author's Note:**

> This poem was written for the [Asexy Valentines Fest](http://asexual-fandom.dreamwidth.org/54675.html) over on the Dreamwidth community asexual_fandom. It also fills the "fake relationship" box on [my card](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/9070413.html) for the Trope Bingo fest.
> 
> The following story belongs to Schrodinger's Heroes, featuring an apocryphal television show supported by an imaginary fandom. It's science fiction about quantum physics and saving the world from alternate dimensions. It features a very mixed cast in terms of ethnicity and sexual orientation. This project developed with input from multiple people, and it's open for everyone to play in. You can read more about the background, the characters, and a bunch of assorted content on the [menu page](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/1752525.html).

Ash knows what it's like  
to pretend, to fake something  
because that's easier  
than trying to explain the truth  
to every idiot passing through her life.

There was one summer in her teens that  
she spent with her Lakota cousins-by-marriage  
during which she met a neighbor  
who at the time was pretending to be a boy  
in accordance with the body's shape.

Ash, at the time, was frustrated by how  
all the other teenagers were pairing up,  
and how it made her feel left out  
because she didn't _want to_  
do that with anyone.

So Ash and Skan pretended  
to be boyfriend and girlfriend.  
The other teenagers accepted them then  
on the trail rides and fishing trips  
and visits to the ice cream stand.  
It was nice to be accepted.

Still, something _itched_ about it,  
something out of place,  
something as uncomfortable  
as a wrinkle in a saddle blanket,  
unseen but always felt just the same.

So they parted company at the end of summer,  
parted as friends and went their separate ways.

Ash explored her feelings  
and discovered that she was asexual,  
not desiring the clutch of anyone's body;  
and aromantic as well,  
not inclined to fall in love with anyone.

This did not mean, Ash also discovered,  
that she felt no love for other people.  
It did not mean that she felt no desire  
for permanent, even intimate relationships --  
merely that she wanted those  
to be based on something other than  
sex and romance.  
She was still tractive,  
and the urge to connect was strong.

So when Ash met Alex --  
who had a brilliant mind  
and a tendency to collect people --  
it was a source of mutual delight.  
Here was someone Ash could wrap her life around  
like a bean vine climbing a cornstalk,  
and there was Bailey spreading himself about them both  
like a squash plant covering the hill with cool shade.

Ash and Alex spent long hours together,  
poring over computer programs.  
Their heads bent close over the keyboard,  
Ash's long dark braid against Alex's golden curls.  
Often as not, Bailey crouched at their feet,  
adding or removing or repairing some piece of hardware.  
These people were comfortable with things  
that had nothing to do with sex, Ash realized.  
It was curiously liberating.

Others, too, came later,  
twining themselves into Ash's life,  
coworkers who became friends who became family.  
There was no need to be alone  
unless she wished to be by herself for a little while.

It was not the same culture Ash had grown up with  
but it was, also, not identical to the mainstream  
for each of them contributed bits of what they loved best  
and together they became something  
very like a little tribe.

Ash knows what it's like to pretend,  
and to choose _not_ to pretend anymore,  
so when Quinn seems a bit lonely for people  
who are neither male nor female, both male and female,  
she coaxes him to come with her to the Waxahachie powwow.

Skan is there too, living as a woman now,  
with her tall handsome husband  
and a badge for the fancy shawl dance.  
She looks askance at Quinn, for a moment,  
until Ash explains that he's part of her family  
and longing for the company of other two-spirits.

Then Skan grins, and tells them about  
the Oglala brave-woman who has just taken a wife  
and the Hopi katsina dancer who is asexual, and oh,  
some medicine person from north of the Canadian border  
whom Skan has not met yet but is surely some sort of two-spirit.

It's nice to have a place  
where you can just _be yourself_  
and let the tribe-song swirl around you  
like the water of a deep clear river.

Ash is not surprised when  
Quinn comes home with a souvenir,  
a man's choker necklace made of horn pipe-beads  
with a silver concho in front from which dangle two bone feathers,  
one tipped in turquoise and the other tipped in coral,  
a silent, subtle hint of a hidden iteration.

Ash would not trade her family  
for all the mainstream acceptance in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Ash has intertribal heritage, primarily Wichita/Navajo.  Like many Native American folks, that comes with a large sprawling family.  One of her relatives married a Lakota person, which is where that branch of cousins connects.
> 
> Tractive is an adjective meaning that someone wishes to form close, long-term bonds with other people.  Most do; a few don't.  A person can be aromantic and/or asexual, yet still be tractive, desiring a tight connection based on something other than sex and romance.  The opposite of tractive is nontractive.
> 
> Corn, Squash, and Beans are the "[Three Sisters](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Sisters_\(agriculture\))" of Native American lore, a permaculture guild in which each plant gives and gains benefits in an interdependent relationship.  They are considered sacred; different tribes have [their own legends](http://www.birdclan.org/threesisters.htm) about these plants.  They symbolize loving relationships and ties of family and community.  See [planting instructions](http://www.reneesgarden.com/articles/3sisters.html).
> 
> The [fancy shawl dance](http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/article/the-evolving-beauty-of-the-fancy-shawl-dance-22719) is a women's dance performed at many powwows.  See an [indoor video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCjiyiqU7pI) and an [outdoor one](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbamqRd1NR4).
> 
> [Two-spirit](http://androgyne.0catch.com/2spiritx.htm) is an intertribal term for homosexual and/or genderqueer people.  Brave-woman is a term some tribes use for a woman who lives as a man.
> 
> Hopi [katsina](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kachina) dancers represent powerful spirits.  In English it's usually written as "kachina."
> 
> [Medicine person](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medicine_man) is an intertribal term for those who intercede between the ordinary world and the spirit world.  Another term is "[shaman](http://www.jstor.org/stable/660223)" but some people prefer to restrict that to its culture of origin, the Tungusian tribes in Siberia.
> 
> [Turquoise](http://www.crystalvaults.com/pages/crystal_encyclopedia/turquoise.php) and [coral](http://www.native-american-market.com/red_coral.html) appear in much Native American jewelry.  Turquoise (like other blue stones) represents water, the sky, and masculine energy.  Coral (like pipestone and other red stones) stands for soil, the earth, and feminine energy.  Some jewelry has only one or the other, but it's not rare to find items that include both for balance.


End file.
